What defines ‘Normal’?

What defines a ‘normal’ person?

Normal isn’t a concept but more likely an idealistic structure on life that maybe fits closer to the view propaganda had in the 1950’s on ‘the perfect normal life’. With a pastel coloured car, straight white children and a house with a picket fence.

Of course, this is outdated and generally dumb, however this need and desperate longing for normal never seems to be satisfied. 

A ‘normal’ person to me means someone who has gone through the ups and downs of life, someone who has endured suffering but seen equal amounts and joy and likely not suffered from panic attacks or mental health conditions of any kind. 

I don’t think there are many ‘normal’ people.

So why do we try and become a part of this miniscule minority in the population when the vast majority aren’t normal?

No. Now the thing to be is ‘original’. Sell your own brand, except that term is no longer limited to retail but now as a label to an identity. You must become one in 7 billion and try your hardest not to become like everyone else. 

As someone who’s still growing up, this is something I’ve noticed in that process. We’ve reversed the principles we learned from our first social steps of school and are now told to express ourselves to the extent that it’s shamed upon when you don’t. Be different, be bold – well what if I don’t want to be bold? What if I don’t want to be seen or heard every minute of my life just to prove to those around me that I am individual, I am special. 

Its exhausting. Frankly. 

After a lifetime in commitment to a system where ‘fitting in’ seems to be the ‘norm’, it is frowned upon to ‘act out’ yet we are told to develop ourselves individually in a place where we all wear the same clothes and told to abide by the same rules as if we all fit into the same pair of shoes.

Society teaches us to want to be normal but reprimands us for trying.

You must wear black socks to school but continue to ask interesting questions on topics relating to history, religion and science.

Why do my socks need to be black for that to happen?

Why must I have sensibly coloured hair for people to take me seriously?

Why is the standard of work I do, not enough to earn recognition or praise for the hours put in?

Instead someone who’s done the bare minimum is rewarded for the smallest effort but those who continually perform and try and cry over the near-impossible work are given a simple “well done” for just handing it in.

Are we only valued on the work we do (or the work we don’t) and not the people we are? School teaches us as such. Work over identity. Being who you are isn’t enough.

So we try hard to do both (work to be valued and establish our identites) and find that this takes us away from ‘normal’ even more by throwing mental health issues our way further stating that ‘you’re not normal’.

But not being normal is actually the good thing to be. You don’t inherently want to be like everyone else but it should also mean that you shouldn’t have to prove it all the time.

We may wish to escape our struggles or our pain or our pasts but it is all in greater pursuit of a better future. Seeking to individualise, take control and become original, unique and incredible versions of ourselves.

So that’s why I often find the need to write things down. It’s something to leave behind.

An entirely original mark on the world that is inherently not normal and true to myself.

So here it is.

Make the mark you want but don’t feel that you need a triple strength permanent marker to do it.

If it’s true to you and who you are, then the mark you make will matter no matter the size.